TPT#42 - Men's Hot Tub and Testosterone Update

At release time, we are probably christmassing with the kids, so our holiday update will come next week.

The gym has hot tubs and saunas. They are in the locker rooms. George had not been planning to spend much time in the men's locker room with his shirt off just yet, but his muscles needed the hot tub. Testosterone has been doing good things for him, but is it doing enough for the hot tub?

TPT#41 - Schedule Tetris

Blended families and blended visitation schedules mix with work and school schedules, and it often doesn't quite fit into the 24 hours and 7 days that our culture and place in the solar system provide us. George is a morning person, Jess is a night person, and the kids are sometimes persons, so we all do what we can to make things work.

TPT#40 - Butt-A#% Cold

George got birthday'd, bought a new suit, and used the men's locker room at the gym. All in the really-freaking-cold weather.

TPT#39 - Q's and A's

We occasionally have questions from you, our friends, pop up in our various inboxes. We generally answer promptly, but privately. There are a few questions, however, that have seemed worth answering on-air, for the sake of clarifying any potential confusion or tying up loose ends from previous episodes.

TPT#38 - It Gets Better

Parenting is often something of a roller-coaster. And special needs kids may sometimes seem to make things worse, but they really just make the highs and lows more extreme. So after a bit of discussion about our amusingly underplanned thanksgiving prep, we wrapped up some of the loose ends of stories and topics related to kids that are turning out pretty well.

TPT#37 - Social Stuffs

Back when we were growing up, the only safe social space was with the other queers. Now that we're "socially acceptable", we've found other friends that share our values and priorities but don't share the queer experience. Parenting makes social time hard, especially when much of the queer community choose not to raise children, and "just don't get it".

TPT#36 - Dysfunction Junction

We like things that are functional. George's aunt has come to live near us, so we can care for her and she can care for our kids... and for George's ex-wife. And the awkwardness is totally overshadowed by the functionality of it all.

TPT#35 - Six Months and Naughty Kid

So we started out with intent to make a "Six Months on T" update, but we got distracted talking about Child #1's recent arrest.

If you missed the link to the SAGE test in our social media last week, it can be found at http://www.hemingways.org/GIDinfo/sage/.

TPT#34 - That Gender Stuff

Jess has always felt rather ambivalent to the concept of gender, but recent changes in George's behaviour and affect have made her realize just how she really is less ambivalent and more oblivious. Close friends and partners of trans* persons have occasionally recognized the social and emotional changes caused by hormone treatment, and remarked "Oh, that's why women/men do that!", validating stereotypes. But when her natural inclinations are all over the gender spectrum and she doesn't even realize the genderedness of her own actions, what's a princess-man to do?

TPT#33 - Oh, For Gender's Sake!

George has been changing. That was kinda the idea of this whole adventure. The word "transition" indicates change. This week, we discuss how the changes in his world, both internally and externally, relate to gender both as a biological concept and as a social construct.

Information on finding a kinesiologist in your area can is online at icak.com.

TPT#32 - Bad Humour and NewOld Endo

When you need to cope with difficult circumstances, it's useful to be able to laugh about them. Raising special needs kids is often frustrating and exhausting, and we occasionally make jokes that would, out of context, be absolutely horrifying. George felt that it would be best to clarify that when we say awful evil horrible things about our children, we don't really mean it, we're just making one another laugh.

We segue (badly) from there into discussing the endocrinologist that George was referred to. Which happens to be the same one he had the hassles with back in the spring, 'round abouts episodes 4 to 10. Thankfully, this time around they seem much more supportive.

TPT#31 - STP'ing

Now that the question of which bathroom to use is fairly settled for George, he's started researching various Stand-To-Pee devices. Links to the two he's used are in the post below. After discussing the specific items he's begun familiarizing himself with, we delved deeper into the topic of gender dysphoria, and George is very thankful that while he would very much appreciate the experience of having genitalia that matched his gender, he does not feel the need to utilize prostheses to assist in managing the discongruity.

STP'ing Links

As discussed in today's episode, #31 "STP'ing", the two items George has made use of so far:

All you buy for this one is a 1/2 gallon juice or milk carton. Not good-looking, but it works!
- Homemade: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TLiaVVihEn4

This one looks natural-ish, and works okay.
- Made by #1 Laboratory: http://www.etsy.com/shop/NumberOneLaboratory
- As purchased from Good Vibrations: http://www.goodvibes.com/display_product.jhtml?id=17AJ04

TPT#30 - Back To Work

Returning to work after three weeks of leave can be daunting, but the results of surgery and changes from five months on testosterone have probably affected that process, and George's colleagues have been, on the whole, supportive and encouraging. Meanwhile, the kids are still extra-special, and Jess is slightly peeved that George made her put clothes on but is otherwise content.

TPT#29 - Work Fix?

"THE LETTER" has been sent. Finally. Everyone who responded has been supportive, and now George can get back to work, which is a good thing. His boss and colleagues have been covering his workload while he's been out, and they're very ready to be done with that.

The Work Letter!

As promised. Finally approved. Listen in this week for the last (hopefully) of the work drama.

---

Respected colleagues,

I am writing to inform you of changes that I am in the process of making. I am transgender, and have begun the process of changing my appearance to match that of my male gender identity. I will not be changing my name, but I will no longer be a "girl George". As I become more masculine, you may continue to see changes in my appearance and self-presentation, but please be assured that I am still just me.

It is customary in the English language to refer to men with the gendered pronouns "he", "him", or "his". I also ask that you start using male pronouns when referring to me, both in person and in writing, email, etc.. I recognize that this may be difficult at first, and I will not be offended by genuine mistakes if made without malice. However, this change is necessary to avoid confusion for clients, new coworkers, and others. I am aware that some of you may not understand or approve of this change, but I request that you continue to treat me with human dignity as I do you.

I will be out of the office until returning on [end leave date] and upon my return I intend to present fully as male. That will be the "official date" of transition here at the office, and I am in the process of changing all my legal documents to reflect this information. I expect that some of you may have questions. If you do, please do not hesitate to talk to me. There are some personal questions I may not answer, but questions about this process are definitely open for discussion with me directly. You may instead choose to discuss this with [director's name], who has requested that any questions or concerns that are not to be addressed to me for any reason at all be communicated directly to him. Additionally, you may wish to view the following links that are chock-full of great information about gender identity and the process of transition. You may also forward this e-mail if someone was missed from the addressing process and is asking about it.

http://lgbcenter.ucdavis.edu/lgbt-education/trans-ally-tips
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xXAoG8vAyzI
… or, like my wife says, "go ask your Google."
http://www.google.com/search?q=what+is+transgender+transition

TPT#28 - Work Woes

♪♫ Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to schedule a meeting... George's leave time is up, but he's not headed back to work just yet. The letter still isn't approved, and they haven't decided how to handle the situation. They haven't even decided how to go about deciding. The only thing they have decided is that he should stay home until it's decided.

TPT#27 - Post-Operative Productivity

George is recovering well from top surgery. If you missed the link on our Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook, or Google+, the meditations George used were "Stress Free Surgery: A Self Relaxation Program to Help You Prepare for and Recover from Surgery", by Linda Thomson.

As of recording, his work still hasn't figured out the email thing. We still plan on publishing it when it's been sent, so watch this space.

TPT#26 - Pre-Operative Problem-Solving

George has a date for top surgery... next week! We could've announced that sooner, but we didn't want to jinx it. Or spoil the surprise. Or something like that. He has work leave scheduled and pre-operative instructions from the surgeon. While he's on leave, we're hoping that his supervisors will distribute "the letter" via email, but some of them are still confused as to why that might even be necessary. If/when it's approved, we'll post a copy at TransPanTastic.net. Until then, you can find lots of other examples by googling "transgender transition work letter".

Also, we laugh about Child #2's attempts at swearing. Hence the "explicit" marker.

TPT#25 - Testosterone Changes Everything.

After four months on testosterone, George's body has begun to change. From voice to body hair to skin texture, he's much more manly. Or at least more teenage-boy-ly. Even more interesting than his physical changes, though, is the way his changing appearance changes the way others interact with him.

Also, if anyone wants to make a bathroom flipchart like the one we mentioned, send us a picture and we'll feature it on the podcast and in our social media!!

TPT#24 - Kindergarten Dad

Child #3 started kindergarten this week. The expected procedure is that on the first day of kindergarten, one parent accompanies the child to school for the morning, to help them adapt (and to fill out paperwork). George would rather have been elsewhere, but none of #3's other parents could make it so he was drafted. The upside: He was completely read as male the entire time. The downside: He was at kindergarten. All. Morning.

TPT#23 - Holy Absurdity, Petman!

Life is crazy. Kids are definitely crazymaking, but sometimes the pets are worse. Or maybe they're better, depending on your attitude and preferred level of crazy. Our three dogs are in their twilight years, and it shows. A is a deaf and senile, B is blind, and C is just kinda stupid. They're all expensive, but the kids love them and they had George before Jess did so she'll let them stay.

TPT#22 - Friends and Family!

George likes the family he was born with, Jess is often confused by that. Even so, they both like the family they have chosen for themselves, and the friends they choose to fill their lives with. Watching our friends and family adapt to new pronouns and secondary sex characteristics, often subconsciously changing their own patterns of interaction, has been an interesting exercise in sociology.

TPT#21 - Doctor, Doctor!

Sometimes our life is amazing. We have great kids, good jobs, supportive friends, and most importantly each other. But then something comes up that overshadows everything else, causes stress, and keeps us from enjoying the rest of life. Lately, that something has been health care. For many trans* folk, medical transition is a struggle to access, and George's experiences with trying to get his medical needs met have been a trial. The stress of it has been huge, and the hormonal roller coaster won't quit until his dosage is fixed. Unfortunately, the MDeity isn't listening, so he found another doctor with a slightly different outlook. Will things be different? We'll see.

TPT#20 - More Comings Out...

... or is that coming outs? George expressed his identity to a family friend who happens to be his boss. As his boss, she was able to begin checking into the employer's needs, but we were more interested that family friends be aware of the situation, as we were planning on telling the kids. We want them to be able to talk through and process this as needed over the summer, and grandpas and aunties should probably hear it from us first! The kids, however, seemed more interested in ice cream than in their "new" dad.

Books for Episode #20

Jess confused two books for the employer, there is no "Transsexuals In The Workplace". Sorry!
Transsexual Workers: An Employers' Guide
The Complete Guide to Transgender in the Workplace

For the kids:
My Princess Boy
Backwards Day
10000 Dresses
Be Who You Are

Also available (but we haven't read and therefore can't officially "endorse"):
My New Daddy
My New Mommy

TPT#19 - Wedding Weekend!

George & Jess went to Seattle, home of the Space Needle, GenderCast, the Seahawks, lots of rain, and our good friends who just got married! The trip was George's first time going "full time", and it was, overall, a positive experience. From the Trans*101 talk we stumbled into, to the gorgeous wedding, to the drag king show, a fun time was had by all.

TPT#18 - Everything But The Kitchen Sink.

Our conversation today was a bit rambly, as is our life often. First we indulge in a little ratings-whoring, so please rate us on iTunes, follow our twitter, tumblr, facebook, google+ (all listed in-site as "TransPanTastic"), and leave comments on our site! We then proceed to discuss positive things about our kids (they're not always rant-making), our upcoming trip to Seattle for a friend's wedding, and healthcare/self-care for HRT and surgery plans.

Social Media?

On summer break, Jess is finally getting around to utilizing the accounts she parked for us some months back. If you'd like to see what else we're up to during the week between podcasts, you can follow us, friend us, circle us, or all of the above!

Tumblr: http://transpantastic.tumblr.com/

Twitter: http://twitter.com/TransPanTastic

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/Transpantastic

Google+: http://plus.google.com/105889546185411151497

Any other networks you want to see us in? Drop a note in the comments!

TPT#17 - Six Weeks on "T"

"You mistake my choice not to feel as a reflection of my not caring, while I assure you the truth is precisely the opposite." Spock's words in the most recent Star Trek movie fit a metaphor we've used for a few years, when hitting the off-switch on one's feelings to logically assess and address a situation. So at the risk of starting to sound like a YouTube channel, we continue the testosterone updates, but through the magic of the interweb, one week after our "one month" episode, we reach "six weeks" of HRT. This week we learn that George is not only becoming a pansy, but a pointy-eared logical vulcan, and a caveman as well, complete with body hair and toilet humor.

TPT#16 - One Month on "T"

At just over a month on testosterone, George has just had his third injection. We discuss the ups and downs of the injection cycle, and how that experience has affected George so far, and how Jess is dealing with poking him in the rear on a fortnightly basis.

TPT#15 - Here Be Swears.

Holy smallfolk, Batman! Kids make Jess swear. And to be fair, there's a lot to swear about. Extra-special needs, autism, developmental delays, occupational therapy, public school nonsense, and trying to juggle careers and transition in the meanwhile, make us very busy and occasionally frustrated.

Hosting Site Errors

So our hosting site just “upgraded” their system… losing some functionality *and* a couple of episodes from the iTunes listing. If you don't see the episode you want in iTunes, you can still view it here, or in most podcatchers. We've contacted the hosting site TechSup and should have the problem corrected shortly.

In other news, we're finally getting around to using the tumblr, twitter, and other social media accounts we reserved back in the spring, and you can now access this site by way of TransPanTastic.net!

<EDIT=2013.06.21.08:38>
They fixed it. Props to PodBean for prompt service!
</EDIT>

TPT#14 - Coming Out!

We had to cut a significant amount of content from this episode, from personally identifying information to lots of throat-clearing as George's vocal cords start to thicken as a result of testosterone. And speaking of testosterone, now that the medical part of George's transition has gotten underway it's time to start informing friends and family. You never know how people will take the news that their child, friend, or sibling will be changing gender, but George's experiences so far, with the few people he's had "the talk" with, have been fairly positive.

TPT#13 - At Last!

We run almost a full half-hour today, as George finally had his appointment at the itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny, yellow polka-dot gender clinic, and he finally gets testosterone. Recorded just shy of a week on T, we discuss our initial impressions of his new experience.

TPT#12 - Be Realistic!

A trip to IKEA, and a bathroom snafu on the way home, made us think about how important it is to be realistic. George finds it important and helpful to see the world and his own place in it from a range of viewpoints, both to effectively present himself as he is at this early stage of transition (still pre-everything), and to map out a plan or timeline for effectively managing the process of transition when he, like many trans* folk, want it now!

TPT#11 - Transition Update, and Other Support

After a quick update on George's process toward medical transition (he's still waiting on any formal medical intervention), we discuss other support that we've found for this journey, both online and in person.

TPT#10 - We Are Sick!

With a family of five living in one house, when one of us gets sick we all get sick. But never at the same time. First child 2 brings it home from school, then it passes from person to person, and just as one of us gets better, another gets ill. As a family that prefers natural medicine over synthetic whenever possible, we seem to be managing pretty well.

TPT#9 - Unpacking Gender Baggage

This gender thing is complicated. The binary as a social construct is not entirely applicable to the entire range of human experience, and the terminology used within a binary system can be confusing or frustrating to individuals who don't fit their culturally expected roles. This week we discuss identity, pronouns, and how the recent shifts in George's presentation have affected the way others interact with him.

TPT#8 - George's "Princess Man"

Last week was all-about-George week, but some of you have asked about the other half of our fine team. So this week Jess talks about herself and her experience as pansexual nonbinary/genderqueer quasi-femme.

TPT#7 - Transgender + Biography = Trans-ography?

George talks about his life so far as trans*, from childhood up to now, answering the common question, "When did you know you were transgender?"

TPT#6 - I Can Haz Testosterone?

George finally gets to the endocrinologist, hoping to start T sooner than later, but she tells him to check with the surgeon. Surgeon? He hadn't scheduled with a surgeon yet. Whoops! (Please forgive the page-flipping at the start, George is finding the right page in his notebook to read from.)

TPT#5 - Effing Therapy...

While George waits for his appointment with the endocrinologist, he decides to visit a therapist. Family and friends are supportive, but an outside viewpoint can be helpful while we wait. The WPATH Standards Of Care and ICATH model of Informed Consent may not require therapy for gender transition anymore, but that doesn't mean that it isn't beneficial anyway.

iTunes Listing...

We got our iTunes listing. If you came here by way of iTunes, and you like what we're doing, let them know. If you came here by way of another podcatcher, or via some signal-bump on another queer site, go subscribe. Star ratings and reviews will bump us up the listings and let more people in on the fun!

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/transpantastic/id629125132

If you're anti-apple, we love you anyway.

http://transpantastic.podbean.com/
http://www.podfeed.net/podcast/TransPanTastic/27370
https://gpodder.net/podcast/transpantastic

... Or type "http://transpantastic.podbean.com/feed/" into your podcatcher's "Add Feed" or similar function.

TPT#4 - Unhelpful Queers, Helpful Insurance.

Lily Tomlin, in character as Ernestine the Operator, once said "You must think HMO stands for 'Help Me Out'!" The endocrinologist's prettyboy receptionist was unhelpful and borderline obstructionist, to the point that a number of George's friends were expressing concerns about bigotry and discrimination. his insurance, however, wouldn't have any of it, and he's now (finally) on his way to an appointment with the endo.

Temporary Posting Schedule

Our first few episodes were released every other week, and that was what we had planned as a continuing schedule, but lots has been happening lately, so we have lots to say. Instead of recording hours-long episodes, or queuing episodes up two to three months in advance, we're going to release episodes weekly for the next month or so, beginning tomorrow!

TPT#3 - Parenting Is Hard.

We have kids. Three of them. Jess brought numbers one and three, and George brought number two, to share a home for just over two years now. Numbers one and two are special-needs, and all three of them like to drive us crazy.

TPT#2 - Gyno Says What?

Between referrals and phone calls, George has to visit "that" doctor Nobody likes visiting "that" doctor, and men least of all, but this one turns out to be surprisingly helpful!

TPT#1 - Here we are!

In our inaugural episode, George discusses his transition, or lack thereof, so far. Also included: parenting, podcasting, and a throwaway reference to The Kills.

Coming Soon:

The new home of the TransPanTastic podcast!